Nuevo Vallarta gossip rag!

Johnny Chicago! Who’s the man? Johnny Chicago! When we searched about on the interweb and the Facebook groups for a boat sitter, we didn’t realize we’d be getting a celebrity. If you wanna know more about the amazing, the intriguing, the garrulous Johnny Chicago. About a month after arriving at Nuevo Vallarta, John fell overboard, into the crocodile infested water, where he floundered about drunk and injured until someone heard his gurgling pleas for help. That was the catalyst for Johnny Chicago to leave his drunken ways behind and become clean living Johnny. Fast forward to October, and we arrive to find our boat stuffed full of used water bottles and the dock covered in what some would call trash, but to John, its all treasures, discarded by those with lesser imagination. When we met our neighbour, Cristobal, from a few docks down, he knew of our boat. “Johnny Chicago stays at your boat,” he told us “he sailed here with an African pirate that he hides, a Somalian I think.” Others in the area had heard rumours of Johnny harbouring a fugitive from the dark continent. “Johnny Chicago, a legend in his own mind!” Declared Jaun, who operates one of those raucous party boats you see covered in drunken sunburnt tourists. John has difficulty with keys, he lost enough of them that the marina gave him a volume discount on them and reduced the deposit he had to pay whenever they gave him a new one. He also doesn’t like to learn new tricks, like how to flush the toilet on the boat. He confided that one time he new he couldn’t make it to the marina washroom, but that wasn’t to be the moment he learned to flush, instead he put newspaper down on deck and took his shit right there in the open air. Johnny Chicago! But John isn’t just an entertaining carefree, bohemian, he also successful took care of everything we asked him to do, so if you ever need a house/pet sitter, Johnny Chicago might just be your man. Today is a big day, John is moving into his new place, with his new roommates. He’s landed a job at a restaurant here in Nuevo, best of luck with your endeavours John. Our hurricane turned out to be a dud, at least here in the Bay of Banderas, I’m sure it was thoroughly unpleasant further up the coast. Willow’s arrival is imminent, very exciting for us, we haven’t seen her since Mazatlan. That was like eight months of Willow free living, although we saw her sister Olivia in Toronto in August, which is almost like seeing Willow. Willow can be a polarizing figure, some people love her, some people block you on Facebook if you mention her name. I was thinking about trying the parasailing at the beach here, until Cristobal commented “It’s dangerous, but you’ll probably be ok.” So I’m wondering what kind of dangerous we’re talking about. In Acapulco they’ve had some Parasailors hit buildings, I guess that hasn’t been an issue in Vallarta but the landings can be a little sketchy, with a guy on the beach waiving flags and blowing on a whistle, the parasailor is guided in and a couple of big Mexican dudes attempt to “catch” you. I watched one lady do it successfully, she made it look pretty easy, and the guy told me if I bring a friend we’ll each get a $10 discount. Cristobal tells me he can get me a better price than that but isn’t confident that I won’t break my legs. Life’s full of tough decisions.

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